Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The dress. I has it.

Or at least, it is hanging in my mother's closet because I don't actually have space to store it.  But it is no longer at the store and the bustle (after two trips to the shop in one day) is finally done and looks the way I want it to look.

Yeah, that's right. I - me, the girl who has not done any wedding planning since spring 2010 - I have completed one item on the wedding checklist.  Woot!

That said, my veil did is not right so I still have to make another trip to P-cola to take care of that.  The veil itself is super awesome it's just that there wasn't quite enough netting to fit my head so that part needs redone.  Which is cool, because that saved me $60 this trip that I didn't really have so I'm cool with being able to spread the spending over time.  On the other hand, every time I go back to P-cola is another time that I have to tell people that I don't have a wedding date and no, mother, I still don't have a ring.  But I'm getting less spazzy about that.

After a moody week leading up to my trip to pick up the dress, I had a big cry about it Thursday night and freaked out at H and stayed up way too late fighting and pouting and then we worked it out and went to bed and I felt okay for the rest of the weekend.  Despite my mother asking if I have a ring yet, despite having talk to people about missing my original wedding date and not having a new one, despite that I was okay.  Because, hey, it is gonna be okay.

At least, after a lot of freaking out at my fiance because any and all things wedding make me hate my life, I was finally convinced that it will be okay.  Because we're going to sit down and hash out our budget.  We have to do this.  Not our wedding budget but our life budget.  Our current system of seat-of-pants flight was making me completely spastic and despondent.  So that is on the to do list this week: fix the system.  Figure out where the money is going.  Once we get the day-to-day figured out and that feels stable then we'll be able to talk wedding again and I would like that to be sooner rather than later.  So we gotta do it.


Adulthood.  It blows sometimes.

But if you were interested in wedding budget type things perhaps you'd be interested in the following tidbits:
  • Cost of dress: $800 + tax (half of which my mother picked up)
  • Cost of alterations: $55
  • Coast of veil: $60 + tax (to be paid)
Current wedding spending total = $915 + tax OR roughly $950.  And all of that has been money spent on me.  In retrospect, I'm a little ashamed of how much I've spent on a dress when the bills are stacked a mile high and H picked up so much slack when I was without a job.  Now that I'm catching up and I'm eyeballing all the financial fixing I've got to do, the spending seems like something of a waste. 

BUT it looks fucking fabulous.  So to hell with the money.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

woulda coulda shoulda

Today is the day that we would have gotten married if I hadn't called it off.  I was much sadder and frustrated about this in the week leading up to today than I am now.  I had several people ask me when we were getting married, give me wedding advice, ask to see my ring, etc over the last week and I flipped out a little the other night and cried to H about it.  Yesterday a fellow derby girl of mine got married and I was sad to think that we would've been having our rehearsal dinner.

But today we got up and H made biscuits and eggs and grits for breakfast.  I swept and mopped the floors.  H oiled the porch swing and cleaned the porch banisters.  We scrubbed down the whole kitchen and made it all shiney clean.  Gave the dog a bath (did I mention that we adopted a dog?) and taught the dog to watch and sit.  I did laundry.  We took the pup for a good long walk around the neighborhood.  I did my roller derby cross training exercises.  We might go out for some Vietnamese food in a bit, maybe watch a movie.  Still need to get groceries.  Generally I feel pretty accomplished.

We've devoted more time to just getting our shit together and being more responsible adults.  So that maybe one of these days we'll have the dough to get hitched and throw a party.  But I'm happy to say that I didn't really think about the wedding that wasn't today.  Except that I'm kind of glad that we didn't push forward.  I don't think I would have been able to enjoy it or appreciate it.  I don't think I would have been in a good place.

Next weekend I go to P-cola to pick up my dress and veil.  Not sure how to feel about that.  Will think about that later.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

happy fucking new year!

happy new year, interwebs!

H and I have resolved that we will definitely get married in 2011, one way or another.  it will happen.  we pinky swore.