woulda coulda shoulda

Today is the day that we would have gotten married if I hadn't called it off.  I was much sadder and frustrated about this in the week leading up to today than I am now.  I had several people ask me when we were getting married, give me wedding advice, ask to see my ring, etc over the last week and I flipped out a little the other night and cried to H about it.  Yesterday a fellow derby girl of mine got married and I was sad to think that we would've been having our rehearsal dinner.

But today we got up and H made biscuits and eggs and grits for breakfast.  I swept and mopped the floors.  H oiled the porch swing and cleaned the porch banisters.  We scrubbed down the whole kitchen and made it all shiney clean.  Gave the dog a bath (did I mention that we adopted a dog?) and taught the dog to watch and sit.  I did laundry.  We took the pup for a good long walk around the neighborhood.  I did my roller derby cross training exercises.  We might go out for some Vietnamese food in a bit, maybe watch a movie.  Still need to get groceries.  Generally I feel pretty accomplished.

We've devoted more time to just getting our shit together and being more responsible adults.  So that maybe one of these days we'll have the dough to get hitched and throw a party.  But I'm happy to say that I didn't really think about the wedding that wasn't today.  Except that I'm kind of glad that we didn't push forward.  I don't think I would have been able to enjoy it or appreciate it.  I don't think I would have been in a good place.

Next weekend I go to P-cola to pick up my dress and veil.  Not sure how to feel about that.  Will think about that later.