Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Deal Breakers

Word of advice, from someone who learned the hard way, don't make a deal (even in outrageous, far-fetched jest!) with your fiance that you may regret.

For instance, if your fiance's family really wants to buy property and move to a neighborhood that you do not want to live in EVAR while your parents want to host a wedding in a place where he does not want to get married EVAR...then it would probably not be a good idea for you to (jokingly) say that as long he doesn't agree to move to Neighborhood X then you won't agree to get married in Location Y.  Because, even though you're nearly 100% positive that you don't want to get married in Location Y either (and he's almost 100% positive that he doesn't want to live in Neighborhood X either), you might just end up having a conversation with your mother that convinces you that Location Y is actually a really great deal and good place to get married while he might have a conversation with his parents that convinces him that moving to Neighborhood X is actually not a bad idea either. 

And then the two of you will fight.

And then his parents will be all upset with you & your family and your parents will be all upset because with him & his family and then you two will fight more because it's really stressful to have both sets of parents accuse the other side of being controlling and unreasonable especially when both of you kind of agree with your own parents.

Yeah, don't do that.

Better that you discuss wedding expectations and budgets and introduce the families BEFORE all that craziness has a chance to brew.  That way, if there is any craziness, at least you know that you and your fiance are on the same side: your own.

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