Thursday, July 15, 2010

Dear NOLA Wedding Industry:

I would like some options.  Not a choice between one fancy hotel and another fancy hotel or a choice between hotel or pitching a tent outdoors.  When you say that your venue is "affordable" that doesn't mean $35-$50/person not including the booze.  If you want to talk about $35-$50/person WITH booze - you might convince me.  That doesn't mean charging me $750 just for the 1 hour ceremony (oh, but rehearsal is included! if we can fit you into our busy wedding schedule...) or limiting me to a measly three hours to party with my best friends and family that traveled 1000 miles to see me get hitched.  Also, I live in the city - I don't want to have to travel out to the frickin' 'burbs and make all my friends and family travel out to the 'burbs to have the wedding at some cheezed out wedding venue where you'll charge me buttloads of cash to be safe from the dangers of the city.

I just want a space to have a party.  Doesn't have to be fancy.  Just affordable (by REAL PEOPLE TERMS).  And in the city.

Otherwise, NOLA WIC, I will not be participating in your wedding nonsense at all.  I will not get a cake or a caterer or pay any ceremony fees for a pretty gazebo/backdrop.  We won't rent tuxes for groomsmen or buy dresses for bridesmaids.  I won't invite all my family to come stay in your fancy hotels or have rehearsal dinner at one of your most fabulous restaurants.  I know you want our money - I'd like to give it to you!  But if my wedding has to cost more than half what I make in a year just to get the wedding basics then you can stuff it all where the sun don't shine.

We'll pay our $35 marriage license fee and get married at the courthouse.  Then I'll buy a round for my friends at the pub down the street and we'll be trashed and happy for less than you wanted us to spend on a 1 hr ceremony.



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